Updated: Apr 13, 2021
When the universe said jump, I made the decision to take a huge leap of faith into unknown territory, without ever looking back at my old self and old life. Prior to my death and ultimate rebirth of my soul and entire reality, I was living in a very closed off, mundane timeline, of fear, regret, pain and vicious, repetitive situational and relationship cycles, with no end in sight. I knew I wasn't in control of my reality, and helplessly, watched as external sources such as media, politics, the entertainment industry, education system and work force commanded my every move.
Before my eyes were forced open during my awakening, my view of the world was very close-minded, overly controlled, scientific based and served only my ego. If you couldn't prove something to me, and if I was not able to see something with my own two eyes, it simply did not exist, no and, if, or buts. Over the past few years, the more I began to connect with Source/God, my guides, explore my higher self, and started to dive into exciting new realities, working with higher dimensional beings within the vast quantum field, the more I understand that we all are multidimensional beings of light. We are all magnificent sparks of energy, constantly in motion, expanding and contracting and responding to our environments.
Individually, we remain dormant, compliant to societal norms and slaves to the matrix system, until that single life-changing event or moment, where we are suddenly (and sometimes against our will) sparked to life and our eyes finally open, after being asleep for so long. Once you wake up, and come up out of the violent, stormy sea of the dense 3D realm, that has wounded and tossed your soul around for lifetimes, as soon as you finally surface and come up for air, choking and sputtering, as you take that first deep breath, the landscape around you suddenly looks and feels so different. With a brand-new set of eyes, you begin to feel a new sense of freedom, you are untouchable and unstoppable. As universal truths are revealed to you in due time, I can guarantee that the reality that you grew up knowing and clinging so tightly to as the only truth, changes so drastically that you and your entire life are also transformed forever, and for the better.
I wake up every single day so excited to see what is in store, not only for myself but for everyone around me, and especially, for those who still sleep. Although many consciously choose to remain asleep, now that I have experienced both states of being in this world, and see life from both sides now, I know that sleeping through this miraculous life experience is not a peaceful slumber, as so many humans still grasp so tightly to the illusion of fear.
Fear...Fear of the unknown, fear of change, fear of the future, fear of dying, fear of being loved and becoming love, is by far the greatest obstacle that you must overcome in this journey. I promise you, once you stand on the other side of fear, each and every day, literally vibrating in your personal power, encompassed in love, you will ask yourself, why you did not do the internal work to get here earlier during your short life span on the earth plane.
I am in awe at our beautiful universe and the endless offerings of abundance and knowledge available to us with a quick shift in thinking, doing and being. Most of all, as a studious, hardworking University student who took the education system so very seriously growing up, I always turned to books and external forces for the knowledge I was so desperately seeking, but now I fully comprehend that everything I need to know is found within me. Being a highly educated human being now means very little to me, as I understand that I did not really know anything at all, in my previous life, other than what I could regurgitate from a textbook or University lecture. If you are highly educated and reading this, I challenge you to go deeper within you and open your mind and heart to a whole new world of possibilities.
Currently, three long and divinely guided years into my self-transformation journey, and even with countless hours of inner, deep-rooted shadow work, the further I go, the more often I find myself on my knees these days. You'd think with all of the practice of facing your inner darkness, accepting and releasing it, that the process would get easier, but it never does. It is never-ending and a lifelong battle. Our vast darkness and learning to accept and face our shadow and highly imperfect self is still very painful, each time something new surfaces to be dealt with.
Humbly, I fall each time, surrendering as a student and realizing that yes, although I have come so far and have battled in blood, sweat and tears, I still have so much to learn and grow from. Just when my ego tries to take over and says, “you've got this all figured out”, I am abruptly reminded of another life lesson where I am stretched far out of my comfort zone again. It never gets any less painful, the tears flow endlessly and the pent-up rage erupts like an angry volcano from places within me that I thought were balanced, aligned and free.
What beautifully delicate and complex beings we are.
I am learning to be even more patient and loving with myself as time goes on. With strength and courage, I will continue to rise and fall, stretch wide open and scratch up my heart, bleed, heal, and mend over and over again. How far I have come in such little time, is far greater, more wonderful and increasingly miraculous, than I could have ever imagined my life to be. I am a different kind of wealth and freedom in this world, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
I continue to dive into the depths of my soul each day, enthusiastically turning the pages of my internal book of knowledge. I never get tired swimming and floating in my endless, and now peaceful and calm sea of personal information and hidden knowledge found deep within my core, within my heart and ingrained in my DNA. I feel more powerful and enlightened by the minute.
For now, I wait patiently and continue to cheer you on, you incredible and divine soul, as you embark on the greatest and most exciting adventure that you will ever experience, your evolution and expansion of consciousness. Go deeper than what you can imagine is even possible, then push even further, past what you can see and touch physically. Find the gold within you, and you will be wealthy the rest of your life.